The Author, Laptop, and Travelers of Fan Fictions
by Sepiktik
Summary: In a world of nothingness, the Author tries to bring some spice in his life. His actions have a grave consequence, however, and Natsuki must go through trials to undo the results of the Author's stupidity and get Shiziru back. Shiznat, others.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: _The summary lists the projected plot, but those events will all happen in time. Don't take this too seriously. I sure didn't.

**The Author, The Laptop, and the Travelers of Fan Fictions**

**By Sepiktik**

**Chapter 1: The Author**

_In which the Author is introduced and the complete lack of plot is made evident._

* * *

In the beginning, there was nothing. There was nothing to be seen, nothing to be heard, nothing to be felt, nothing to be smelled, and nothing to be tasted. Nothing to be squeezed, groped, or tweaked. 

But then, the Author said, "Let there be Author!"

And thus the Author was born, and the newly created world trembled under his mighty might.

And the Reviewer said, "OM PARADOX!"

And the Reader's head exploded. (Yes, it's mind-blowing.)

And the Author commanded unto the Reviewer, "Multiply and be merry, Reviewer, and give me many reviews. Your reviews are food for my soul, and enable me to spread my eternal unfathomable goodness throughout the land!" (The Author was a bit of a drama whore. And an egotist.)

To which the Reviewer replied: "Review what? You haven't written anything, idiot. And also, what the hell would I am I supposed to reproduce with? You aren't anywhere near concubine material. I will give you many reviews, Author, but in exchange, you must give me a hot girlfriend."

And the Author declared, "Let there be Hot Girlfriend!"

And Hot Girlfriend appeared. And the Reviewer was happy. They had sex many times and had lots of children.

And the Author began an internal monologue.

And the English Teacher beat the Author over the head with a foot-long meter stick for starting so many sentences with a conjunction. (OM PARADOX!)

_This guy doesn't deserve Hot Girlfriend. He didn't even give me any reviews yet. But I guess he does have a point. What can he review if I haven't written a story? Maybe I should actually write something before I ask for reviews. Besides, with Hot Girlfriend in the picture, I'll have more reviewers! And where did he come from, anyway? I thought there was nothing, and I definitely didn't create him. But I've gone off-topic in my own monologue; I'll just write an epic story so epic people will give me over 9000 reviews_. (The Author was also a bit of a /b/tard. Fast-forward 5000 years.)

_That's right, I'll definitely get a lot of reviews. Maybe I should actually start writing. I've been planning this since last Thursday._

Don't worry, absolutely nothing happened in those 5,000 years.

* * *

Natsuki was riding her motorcycle, a Ducati DRIII sportsbike, according to Wikipedia, performing the typical brooding she usually did at the start of fanfictions. 

_What is this? Why am I here? Why the hell do I have to be in this stupid piece of sh-WHOA! That car almost hit me. Why does this always happen to me? What is this? Why am I here? Why th-WHOA! That car almost hit me again._

She pulled over and started cursing towards the blue convertible.

* * *

The Author was bored. It wasn't the nothing-to-do kind of boredom that one experienced on lazy weekends. No, it was the type of boredom which crept upon people and clung to them and grew like a fungus, suffocating them with its intensely boring boringness. In short, the Author was epically bored. The Author looked out into nothingness; it looked like just like other times, except this time faint glows pulsated in the nothingness. And the Author peered into the glows, and saw entire worlds, universes, waiting to be conquered. 

And thus the Author discovered the Internet even before Al Gore did, and became much amused. _Dasu dasu! Shop for a whopper! Do a spinning flip!_ And the Author used the Internet to peer into other worlds, watching them as they grew; new worlds seemed to appear all of the time. The Author was particularly attached to a distant universe in which he saw twelve girls who possessed what seemed to him to be super powers. And the Author entered a state of deep thinking.

_OMG UBERHAWTTT!!!!! A CHIX WIT SUPERPOWARS! I MUST WATCH! _The Author thought it a very endearing trait in a woman to have SUPERPOWARS. He found it UBERHAWTTT.

The Author became interested in the universe, and intently watched everything that happened. He saw how the Panty Orphan stole all of the undergarments from Fuuka Academy. He watched as Natsuki continued throughout her day without underwear. He saw the implied yuri-vibes which permeated throughout the series.

So perhaps our Author didn't really see anything not involved with fan service. But he did see how Shizuru felt for Natsuki before it was revealed; he watched the Carnival with morbid curiosity, and after it was over he really hoped that Natsuki would suddenly discover her latent lesbianism for Shizuru, profess her love to her, and then have hot yurisecks through the night. (Yes, our Author was a bit of a pervert.)

But instead of hooking up with Shizuru, Natsuki suddenly started to avoid her and got a job at a company called ManFiction, where her duty was to act out all kinds of stories. It wasn't the kind of life that she wanted, but it kept her going.

* * *

An elegantly-dressed man wearing sunglasses in a black suit stepped out of the car. He approached Natsuki and decided to imitate what he saw in the movies. He suavely reached towards his sunglasses, putting on his lady-killer smile. And then he took a chainsaw out of his pocket, turned it on, and shredded Natsuki into bits, becoming a real lady-killer.

* * *

The Author watched these events in horror. He could not believe how one of his two favorite obsessions was massacred by some random suit in a blue convertible. He quickly grabbed his laptop (no, not his lap top, you perverts!) and started typing a remedy. He typed furiously for five whole minutes, and then printed out his story. 

A piece of paper fell to the floor, conveniently landing face-up so that the general public could see what it said. _Natsuki doesn't die._ The Author was a man of few words. Actually, the Author just didn't have any literary talent whatsoever and totally sucked at typing. And had no sense of detail. And failed at life.

* * *

An elegantly-dressed man wearing sunglasses in a black suit stepped out of the car. He approached Natsuki and decided to imitate what he saw in the movies. He suavely reached towards his sunglasses, putting on his lady-killer smile. He slowly removed his sunglasses, revealing his gorgeous blue eyes. And then Natsuki punched him in the face. His gorgeous eyes became a darker hue of blue, and it began to seem as if he had used eye-shadow that morning. 

Natsuki lost it. This man had almost run her over twice. She grabbed the man and scratched at his face. She decided to use some colorful language to increase the fiction rating. (Defcon-T.) "YOU ASSHOLE, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!"

The man begged. He took another line from the movies. "NO, NOT THE FACE! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THE FACE!"

Natsuki, despite her intimidating appearance, was actually a very merciful being. She released the man's face. And kicked him in the crotch.

The man began to cry. He said, "I-I'm h-here t-to," He suddenly stopped looking pathetic. "I'm here to tell you to GET ON WITH THE STORY, YOU STUPID BITCH. WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR OVER A THOUSAND WORDS AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED! DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR JOB?"

Natsuki blanched. "Tell the boss I'm sorry. I'll get right to it." She wouldn't regularly talk in such a self-degrading sentence, but she wanted to keep her job. It was really the only thing she had at the moment.

The man got up and dusted himself. He said, "It's really too late for that now. We'll just have to wait for the next chapter."As he drove off in his car he muttered to himself, "I'll get that bitch. Who does she think she is, messing up my gorgeous face?"

_There will be hell to pay._

* * *

"Sweet, I saved Natsuki!" The Author grabbed his lap top. (Yes.)

* * *

_Author's note: _The Author is not based on myself, and I sure hope he's not based on you. The Author will be appearing less; this chapter was intended to introduce the Author. He's going to appear a few more times throughout the story, but our scheduled characters will appear next chapter. I intended a lot more to happen in this chapter, but things happen. You can probably tell where I'm going with this by the title. I thought of making a serious version of this, but decided against it. SRS BUSINESS is not my strong point. 

NEXT CHAPTER: **Let's Have a Carnival!**


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, like (almost) every other author on the site, I'm going to reply to reviews. I notice there wasn't any hate mail. That's nice.

centauri2002 – I wasn't really thinking of demographics when I wrote this, but the Author needed a way for the world to be populated with Reviewers. The Reviewer will remain male (at least for now), but as for the Author- Anyway, how about sharing Hot Girlfriend between you and your girlfriend? Threesomes are good, everybody loves threesomes. Except people who don't.

Binchou-tan – I agree.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed: rainee-chan, SychoBabbleX, centauri2002, AnomolyIdiotic, -Rikku-Spira-, glowie, silencer42, and Binchou-tan.

I'm glad you all liked it. Here's moar. I concentrated on non-plot advancement rather than humor in this chapter.

* * *

**The Author, The Laptop, and the Travelers of Fan Fictions**

**By Sepiktik**

**Chapter 2: Let's Have a Carnival!**

_In which the Author gets a gender change and the HiME Sentai reunite. Get out of my rowboat._

* * *

Natsuki lay on the cold, hard pavement, choking on her own blood. Her attacker stood above her, laughing evilly, his laughter not quite reaching his cold blue eyes. Natsuki reached above with her right hand, reaching for the collar of the man's suit. Her hand shook a bit and then dropped, joining the rest of her body. Before she closed her eyes, she whispered. 

"You won't get away with this."

"Yes I will. All your friends will think you abandoned them, and nobody will be able to find your body. Goodbye."

He let out one more resounding evil laugh.

* * *

The director yelled, "**Cut! **All right! That's a wrap, everybody. We're done! Go do whatever." 

Natsuki lifted herself from the pavement and dusted herself off.

The blue-eyed man glared at Natsuki.

_It felt good to kill you in that act. But I want to get revenge on you in real life. I will make you wish you have never been born. Insert rest of stereotypical bad-guy rant here. Are you still reading this?_

* * *

The Author peered into the world in which the HiME lived. Truth be told, it wasn't the only world he had seen which featured these people. He remembered when he looked into a similar world. He remembered how he felt when he watched one particular girl named Tomoe. But the worlds were similar. Nagi was still a bad guy, the HiME still had some sort of SUPERPOWARS. The Author shivered a bit at this thought. 

_I'm willing to bet that Tomoe still has a crush on Shizuru, except it's more latent in this world. And I want to get with her. And take her picture. My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got's m-m-m-making me so horny. Oh boy, I wouldn't mind if she digitally oscillated my power cord. But it's obvious she likes girls. And I'm a guy. But I am the Author! I will not let something like that stop me!_

And so the Author grabbed his laptop. He typed for ten minutes this time. The paper came out of the printer.

_The Author becomes a an incredibly hot girl which Tomoe will not be able to resis_t.

And the Author became female.

And he did what any male mind in an incredibly hot female body would do.

And it was _good_.

* * *

A disheveled Shizuru came into the student council room and grabbed her laptop, muttering to herself. 

Haruka took this opportunity to declare her qualification for the post of student council president.

"HA! I knew you couldn't stay on top of all the work, Bubuzuke Woman! Haruka Suzushiro – Fuuka Gakuen Student Council President! Has a nice ring to it!"

Shizuru went for the door, stopping to reach into her bag and tape her smile back on.

Haruka turned to Yukino.

"What's up with her?"

* * *

Midori had gathered up the HiME Sentai for a group outing. Everybody was there, except for Natsuki and Shizuru. 

Mai looked around at her fellow HiMEs.

"Where are Natsuki and Shizuru?"

Haruka replied, "Don't know, don't care. Though she was muttering something under her breath."

Midori became curious.

"What was she saying?"

"I don't know. She-just-kept-talking-in-one-long-incredibly-unbroken-sentence-moving-from-topic-to-topic-so-that-no-one-had-a-chance-to-interrupt-it-was-really-quite-hypnotic."

Yukino snickered.

* * *

The Author had finished taking her bath. 

"This rocks, multiple orgasms!"

The Reviewer came up to the Author.

"Let's fuck."

"Don't use such language. We're already at Defcon-T."

"Come on!"

"No, you have Hot Girlfriend!"

"She's nowhere as hot as you are now!"

"I'm not going to have sex with you. I'm saving myself for Tomoe. Besides, you still haven't given me any reviews," replied the Author.

The Reviewer fell to his knees.

He bawled. "I'm sorry I forsook you, I will give you many reviews! Now please have sex with me!"

"No. Also, you're ugly."

The Reviewer left with his head bowed down in misery.

Hot Girlfriend came up to him and slapped him with a curling iron. (Beauty takes effort.)

This left the Author thinking.

_I still haven't received very many reviews. I need the help of the Great Will of the Macrocosm._

She grabbed her laptop and sent an email to greatwillofthemacrosocmexcel.saga complaining about her problems with people not reading and reviewing her story. She instantly received a reply.

_You need a plot and some conflict. You need to use plot devices to improve your story. Also throw in lots of fan-service. You'll get a lot of perverts hooked on that way. They'll be using hands-free mode on their microphones if you're good enough. _

And the Author began to think up a conflict.

* * *

Midori asked, "So what do you girls want to do?" 

Mai smiled. "Let's go for Karaoke!"

Akane smiled. "I'll do whatever you guys decide to do."

Midori smiled. "Let's go to a museum!"

Haruka smiled. "Let's go watch Star Trek!"

Yukino smirked. (Bet you fell off your chair there.)

Mikoto jumped up and down.

"LET'S HAVE A CARNIVAL!"

* * *

The chairman of the Searrs Foundation sat in his chair. Their attempt at bringing about the new Golden Age had failed. But he wasn't one to give up. 

"Let's have a Carnival."

* * *

The Obsidian Lord looked upon the world. It was time to get his revenge. His one eye blinked. 

"Let's have a Carnival."

* * *

Juri Arisugawa climbed into the elevator. 

"If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick; the egg is the world. If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Break the world's shell! For the sake of revolutionizing the world!"

The elevator stopped.

She looked around.

"Crap, I took the wrong elevator."

* * *

The Author lifted up her head with a snap. She had finally gotten an idea. 

_I have an idea!_

Yep.

_The HiMEs had a Carnival and I thought it was interesting. What if I put it into my story? I'll get lots of reviews! For the sake of revolutionizing the fan fiction!_

The Author grabbed her laptop and started typing. An hour later, her story was finished. She couldn't think of any ideas for names, so she decided to use the names of the HiME girls. Nobody would know. Before submitting her story, she decided to spell-check it like any good writer would.

* * *

There were twelve girls which had superpowers.

* * *

There names were Mai Akihito, Datsun Tokugawa, Seizure Fuji no, Yuki no Kawasaki, Hanuka Shropshire, Akita Hokusai, No Yuki, Nariko Canada, Tamiko Linage, Alane Thrashing, Shiloh Krakatau's, and Humidor Sugillate.

* * *

There was also this one girl who had fake superpowers.

* * *

Her name was Alyssa Sears. So the Sears Foundation wanted to bring about the Golden Era.

* * *

And they decided to use the girls' superpowers to do so.

* * *

So they did.

* * *

But they failed.

* * *

And everyone lived happily ever after.

* * *

And at the end, they all had a huge orgy.

* * *

Even the nun.

* * *

One more divider for good measure.

* * *

The Author sat back in her chair. 

_I bet those perverted losers are all sweaty now. Never knew that the nun fetish was so popular._

She smirked.

_Oh, crap. It's contagious._

Anyway.

_I have revolutionized fan fiction! With my new patented styling and formatting, I will amass many fans! And they will review!_

She got an instant message.

"I'm in your Internets. Reviewing your fan fictions!"

* * *

Mikoto looked around. Everybody was gaping at her. 

"No, not _that _kind of carnival!"

Everybody breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

_Author's note: _I didn't quite get what I wanted done, but I got closer to what the summary says. If you didn't like this chapter and would rather I go slower with it and stick to humor, tell me. 

NEXT CHAPTER: **Plot Device**


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter took more time than I expected to, though I actually finished it yesterday. I didn't originally feel to good about it and decided to spend some extra time on it. Also, still no hate mail. Did I jinx it yet?

Review replies:

centauri2002 – You sure know how to inflate my ego.

SychoBabbleX – Unfortunately not yet.

Binchou-tan – Your Internet will be put to good use sometime soon.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed since I posted the previous chapter (in no particular order):

Cactusmilkshake, glowie, silencer42, renny-chan (x2), SychoBabbleX, centauri2002, and Binchou-tan.

* * *

**The Author, The Laptop, and the Travelers of Fan Fictions**

**By Sepiktik**

**Chapter 3: Plot Device**

_In which there is plot advancement hidden under softcore yuri smex._

* * *

Bubuzuke Woman stood of the roof of Fuuka Gakuen, scanning the area for villains. 

And then she saw the most heinous villain in the history of villains.

_Him._

She swooped down towards the villain and brandished her naginata.

Ricehater Teamaster glared at Bubuzuke Woman.

"Still at it, I see?"

"Be quiet! Your love of tea is admirable, but tea is best served with rice!"

"That's just your opinion."

"Nonsense! I will make you see the light!"

* * *

Natsuki was riding her motorcycle, brooding yet again. She decided to recycle her thoughts from the first chapter. 

_What is this? Why am I here? What is the meaning of my life?_

And then she drove off a cliff.

* * *

The Author looked into the portal, disappointed. 

_With my typing skills, I'd spend more time writing her revival then she actually does living. What am I saying? I am the almighty Author! It's her fault for dying so much. But still, this can't go on. I need backup._

She opted to contact the Great Will of the Macrocosm again. Through instant messaging this time, though. Apparently, the universe didn't take too kindly to the use of at symbols. She decided to stick to the chat standards and use horrendous grammar.

* * *

**xxcutiepie4812xx: r u der????**

**macrocosmsocorcam: ya hu iz dis?**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: da author**

**macrocosmsocorcam: om itsyou**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: om itsme**

**macrocosmsocorcam: ya wut**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: ded u c wut happen?**

**macrocosmsocorcam: om ded sum1 set u up da bomb??**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: no sry nuthin dat exitin**

**macrocosmsocorcam: oic**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: natuski's ded agen**

**macrocosmsocorcam: i sware dat gurl dies moar den kenny n excel put 2gethur**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: ya rly ken u liek gaurd hur n fix wen she diez?**

**macrocosmsocorcam****: suer okies**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: wut r u wearin?**

* * *

Natsuki continued riding her motorcycle, conveniently not remembering what just transpired. 

As a result, she drove off another cliff. (Where do they keep coming from, anyway?)

* * *

The ACME production manager yelled at his workers. 

"SPEED IT UP, MAGGOTS! WE HAVE AN ORDER FOR 8000 CLIFFS!"

* * *

**xxcutiepie4812xx: moan**

**macrocosmsocorcam****: damit i g2go fix natsuki agen**

* * *

Natsuki continued her thought. 

_I need to find out the meaning of my life. I need to talk to Yamada._

She parked her bike in front of the Rorschach and entered the bar. She chose to sit down in a dimly lit area, next to a man in a hat.

Natsuki slipped the man some money in an envelope. The man opened the envelope and counted the money.

"Thanks."

And he left.

_Crap, that wasn't Yamada._

* * *

Yamada entered the Rorschach and sat next to Natsuki. 

"Sorry I'm late."

"I don't have any money this time."

"No problem. I'm in a good mood."

"What happened?"

"I just got laid." replied Yamada.

* * *

Blowup Doll lay on the couch. 

_Ugh. Absolutely no stamina._

* * *

"Don't want to hear about it. Just tell me about th-" 

"The meaning of life? Oh, yeah. That."

"How did you know?"

"It would've taken too much effort to add back story into this scene."

"What?"

Yamada leaned back on his stool and fell down. He stood up and then sat back down. A rather pointless action, to most people, but few would know the true reason. The quotation marks needed a break.

* * *

Open Quote turned to look at Close Quote. 

"I feel like such a whore. I've been used so many times recently."

"I don't mind."

"That's because you're a tool."

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE! NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. I QUIT!

* * *

"Go to Fuuka Academy. There's a carnival on campus. No, not that kind of carnival. 

He continued. "There's a booth on campus which mysteriously appeared earlier today. It's rumored that you will find what you seek there.

"Thanks.

* * *

Blue-Eyed Man grinned evilly like a grinning psychopathic psychopath grinning evilly. 

_I might not been able to do it myself, but at least she'll still die._

* * *

Natsuki exited the Rorschach. Normally, after a scene change, there wouldn't have been such a meaningless sentence. But this was a special case. It was to build up drama. Oh dear, that seems to have been botched quite badly. 

A shot was heard. Natsuki fell to the ground, bleeding.

* * *

"BOOM, HEADSHOT! 

Master Chief pumped his fist.

* * *

**xxcutiepie4812xx: ooh im a boat to**

**macrocosmsocorcam****: ffs not agen**

* * *

A shot was heard. Natsuki fell to the ground, bleeding.

* * *

"DOUBLE KILL! 

Master Chief pumped his fist.

* * *

**xxcutiepie4812xx: IVE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY GRILL**

**macrocosmsocorcam: ugh**

* * *

The Great Will of The Macrocosm decided to take action. She set the respawn time to 1 second.

* * *

"TRIPLE KILL! 

"KILLTACULAR!

"KILL FRENZY!

Master Chief reloaded his sniper rifle.

* * *

**xxcutiepie4812xx: best cybar evar**

**macrocosmsocorcam: sum1 keepz spawnkillen natsuki**

**xxcutiepie4812xx: du sumtin bout it**

**macrocosmsocorcam: kk**

* * *

The Great Will of the Macrocosm walked up to Master Chief and took his gun. Master Chief began to cry. 

"Ssh, don't cry.

The Great Will of the Macrocosm gave Master Chief a pacifier. The Master Chief stopped weeping briefly to suck on the pacifier. Then the waterworks began again. He spit out the pacifier and glomped The Great Will of the Macrocosm.

"MOMMY!

* * *

Open Quote ran after Close Quote. 

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID! PLEASE COME BACK TO ME!

Close Quote stopped for a moment. She turned around and said, "I'M SORRY FOR RUNNING AWAY! I'LL COME BACK!"

Open Quote caught Close Quote in a hug.

It looked something like this: '"'. (Period was just hanging around at the time.)

And dialogue became much less annoying to read.

* * *

Nina Wang and Erstin Ho stared at the sign in front of them, dismayed. 

**THE POOL IS CLOSED.**

* * *

The chairman of the Searrs Foundation pulled his hand out of the vat, taking out a large bunch of cotton candy. 

He handed it to the Obsidian Lord.

The cotton candy fell to the floor in slow motion. The Obsidian Lord followed it's motion downward with his one eye.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He blinked his eye.

"At times like this, I wish I had hands."

"Don't worry, we'll make the next carnival handicapped-accessible."

* * *

-- **xxcutiepie4812xx is now known as Author --**

**-- macrocosmsocorcam is now known as GWOTM --**

**Author: I need some help with my story.**

**GWOTM: I noticed. It's getting better, but you still haven't gotten anywhere near what's supposed to happen. Perhaps you should try not to get sidetracked.**

* * *

Natsuki, through some masterfully used deus ex machina, was on the Fuuka Academy campus. She looked around the campus and saw many people. Some she recognized, some she didn't. Some who were students, some who were teachers. Some who were perverted old men. And she saw the booth that Yamada had mentioned. She walked up to the booth and peeked inside. She saw nothing. A high-pitched voice addressed her. 

"Stand behind the yellow line, mortal!"

Natsuki was creeped out by the voice and stepped back.

"What is the meaning of my life?"she demanded.

Smoke began to exit from inside the booth. Natsuki was temporarily blinded.

"You should be more respectful to your elders."

Natsuki spoke softly.

"What is the meaning of my life?"

"You? Your life has no meaning. You're just a character in the universe, a pawn to be moved by more powerful beings. Your job well represents what you really are. You're living a story within a story within a story."

Natsuki fell to her knees.

"No! No! NO!"

She ran off with tears in her eyes. From the smoke, of course.

Inside the booth, Nao and Shiho hacked and coughed due to the smoke.

"Haha, that was good. cough. We managed to scare that brat."

"We still have some time left over."

"Turn that smoke machine off."

Shiho fiddled with the switch.

"I can't, it's broken."

Nao pushed Shiho to the grass and laid on top of her.

"What are you doing?!"

"Smoke rises. It makes sense that we get low."

"I guess it does."

"How did you manage to talk in such a high-pitched voice?"

"It wasn't hard... when you were touching me like that."

"Like this?" Nao brought her right hand to one of Shiho's breasts and squeezed.

Shiho blushed and squirmed under Nao's touch.

"Stop that!"

Nao brought her head closer to Shiho's and kissed her, silencing her protests. An alarm rang, totally ruining the mood.

"Dammit, we're out of time. And I was just getting to the good part."

* * *

A/N: Some statistics (Source: Google search results) 

"silencing her protests" – 462 results.

"brought her right hand down" - 10,800 results.

And just out of curiosity: "brought her right hand up" - 15,400 results.

Moral: When in doubt, reach up.

* * *

**Author: Got any other ideas on how I can spice up my story?**

**GWOTM: You could try a running joke.**

* * *

It was Nao's turn to think in italics. 

_I just finished the scene, but the spotlight's still on me. I guess it's time to do something interesting._

Nao spotted Mikoto bouncing around outside of a portable toilet.

"Is Mai in there?"

"YEAH YEAH YEAH BEEN WAITING FOREVER."

"Let me tell you something about Mai."

Nao bent down and whispered something in Mikoto's ear.

Mikoto's eyes widened.

"NO WAY! REALLY?"

Mai came out of the portable.

"It smells really bad in there. Let's go back to the dorm."

* * *

Nao saw Natsuki running away from the campus. 

"STOP!"

Nao walked up to Natsuki. And whispered something in her ear.

Natsuki looked puzzled for a moment. Then she started drooling. And then she started running again, although this time she headed towards the school.

* * *

**Author: How many times can I use the same basic sequence?**

**GWOTM: Chapters frequently have a pattern, though most reviewers don't see it. Television series, for example, all have a template. In a detective show, in the first half, the detective solves the case. In the second half, he either finds out that he made a grievous error and got the wrong guy, or encounters some difficulty in proving his case.**

**Author: Shut up already.**

**GWOTM: Fine. You can use the same setup for your jokes, but if you overdo it, people will be able to see the punchline before it happens. And that's not good. Change it up a little every time you do it.**

**Author: Thanks.**

* * *

Nao took out her cell phone and send Shizuru a text message. 

In the Student Council room, Shizuru's phone beeped. She looked at her text messages and her eyes began to twinkle.

She started packing up her laptop.

* * *

**Author: Have you ever wondered why Japanese people wear school uniforms?**

**GWOTM: It'd take too much work to design different clothing for every person in every 20-minute episode.**

**Author: You are wise.**

* * *

Mai lay in her bed, tired from all of the day's events. She closed her eyes and sleep quickly took her. 

Mikoto was also in her bed, pretending to be asleep. It was time to try the experiment. She stealthily snuck into Mai's bed, having perfected the art over the past year.

She could barely contain her excitement, though she decided to wait a few minutes before trying the next move. She then lifted Mai's shirt up.

Mai shifted in her sleep. Mikoto waited some more. Mikoto lifted up Mai's bra. Mai began mumbling. Mikoto, knowing it would only be a few minutes before Mai woke up, moved in for the kill. She tentatively licked at one of Mai's nipples.

Mai sat up in her bed, seeing herself exposed and with Mikoto on top of her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"MAI, MAI! YOU DO TASTE LIKE RAMEN!"

* * *

Nao pulled away from the door, snickering. 

_One down, two to go._

* * *

_Author's note: _This chapter is actually about double the size of the last chapter. Although bigger is not always better. (Or so I hear.) I think the content of this chapter was nearing Defcon-M, although I don't consider it anything inappropriate for teens. Anyway, it was intended in a way to move the plot closer to its actual beginning (and I consider it a success in that sense.) The next chapter will pick this up from where this stopped. 

I briefly thought of giving Nao's manipulations a separate story, and even came up with a title (**The Way to a Woman's Heart**).

Anyway, I hoped you all liked this chapter. By the way: "tentatively licked" - 3,250.

**NEXT CHAPTER: Ambition**


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